uncertainty

feeling queasy. confused. uncertain about the future.
she's 19. she young and inexperienced. she's getting married.
i guess i still can't really come to terms with that. although we weren't really close, in my mind, she would always be that playful, bubbly girl in class. and suddenly she's thrust into the world of adulthood. handling all those adult things. moving away from her parents. living with a strange man. having babies.
and then i look at myself. i'm probably older than her due to the months. will i be able to make such big decisions on my own? will i be able to be as strong she?
i sigh at my immaturity and dependence on my family. the future seems so near yet so far.

grumbly mumbly

It's totally beyond my comprehension how i ever screwed my theatre studies and sociology and yet i can get a B+ for postwar japanese film and anime. Is life strange or what? I worked my ass off for sociology, i really did. And i got strangled 11 times by max just to perfect the role of Mrs Boyle. Nm, can understand cos i knew i killed myself. Pol sci, its my major of course gotta do well. Although didnt get to study much for it. Urgh. I wonder what went wrong.
Life's strange. Inexplicably strange. Sometimes things come out diametrically opposite of what you'd expect it to be. And things you wholly think would never ever happen could be dancing right in front of your nose. Sigh.
Lord, tell me this isn't real. It isn't.



girl: dear wall, why is life full of ironies?
wall: maybe cos u are a young, hormone driven, hollow headed teenage girl.
girl: what! buttt..but..bbbut...that's got nothing to do with anything!
wall: yes it does.
girl: no it doesnt.
wall:yes it does.
girl: no it doesnt!!!
wall: oh yes it does. and there you go thinking too much again until your little brainie can't contain it any longer. WAHA! soon, your brain will disintegrate into a mindless ball of fluff and frangipanies...
girl: NNOOOOOOOO...i don't wanna become a frangipany! don't let me come at you with a bulldozer, wall! I'm warning you!
wall: nothing can bring me down, for i am the walls around ur heart, the walls with cause ur mental block. i'm ur dead end...



I have no idea how to continue.

blessed

I've heard from many people that this Christmas doesn't really feel like Christmas at all. Some say there isn't enough festivity, celebrations, rowdiness. Some say they can't get into the spirit of Christmas. There are even people who complain about the Orchard road lights. But i beg to differ. This Christmas is the best I've ever had, because I recieved the greatest gift: I was confirmed on Christmas day.
Words can't really express how I feel, for faith is something which is intangible, something which is so omnipotent. But that day meant a lot to me, for it was a day when I could stand up and shout to the world that I am a daughter of Christ. For confirming my faith meant that it wasn't my parents decision that I was a Christian. It was by God's grace and love that I wanted to give my life for Him...
On Christmas day, I felt very loved.

happy day

Hmmm..still got jet lag from Turkey so decided to do a picture post. The Turkey one will have to come later as it requires loads of thinking heh.

Went to watch Night at the Museum with the girls today. Movie was super funny la..lol i love the easter island statue man...dumb dumb! Man, i really missed king's utter random nonsense, especially her strange ostrich like expressions. Missed weiheen...well everything about weiheen haha...and she looks so cute in braces!Meiying...still her usual ditzy self. We stopped to laugh at a poster of Gong li and her nearly exposed boobs again. Some things just never change.

I've no idea what's the occasion for the extravegance. I thought maybe it was for some Christmas celebration but then, seafood at Longbeach restaurant? Hardly any turkeys served. You guys are rich man...Haha..But once in a while ok la=)

The food was alright, pepper crab was pretty good. Some gals had misgivings over the drunken prawns cos they thought it was kinda cruel the way they were killed though they nv saw how the prawns were drowned. Hmmm as the saying goes, what u don't know can't kill you heh. Service was..er not v good cos the drunken prawns came behind everything else. The waiter said the prawns simply did not wanna die(i remember his name tag said Sky Wu and we were all kinda sniggering at him). Overall, it was a rather enjoyable evening la haha...And that stupid ah teck came from behind to pop those restaurant napkins into my ear. Very funny ah.

bored and hungry

up and rising professional waiter

the other table

Kenneth went around saying I bought Gareth nicotine gums. I proved him wrong=p