Hmm..really wanna give thanks for today cos Andrew, Chris, Huiqi and I got to sit down for a really long time to talk and discuss about the girls and mentoring. to me it was a pretty fruitful discussion, and the issue of accountability was addressed. it's really interesting cos it was the 3rd time that day that God reminded me that i wasn't fighting the battle on my own. it's comforting to know that even if my hose has run dry, there will be other people there to continue to fight those forest fires.
i don't know if im getting accustomed to loneliness, but i suspect it isnt a very good thing. The Christian race isn't supposed to be run alone anyway. We run alongside one another, spurring one another on and point each other in the right direction. well well well...missionary in the making? they are lonely creatures.
maybe i haven't been doing enough. or why does doing and not reaping the results i want to see make me feel frustrated? well, precisely because i have been using my own perceived standards as a yardstick. and when that happens i keep having to create excuses for myself. stop the blame game. stop expecting people to meet up to your expectations. aiyah. i have to constantly remind myself that God is God, and i am not. Even God doesn't complain about us not meeting His standards. on a side note i think its quite funny to think of God complaining. think it will rain for 20 years. then we'd have to build a ship bigger than titanic to host every creature possible. i would leave out cockroaches and lizards. and maybe mosquitoes. ok its late and im not thinking straight.
the word "marriage" seems to be a recurring haunting word. for the first time in my life, i felt the first pangs of marital pressure. a youth asked me when was i going to get married. i think its one of those things you pick up after turning 21. i finally know how those older pple feel when pple tease them about marriage and stuff. i say retribution.
anyway on the subject of marriage, i was deeply amused by something pastor ky said. if God were to reveal His plan straight out to us, if we were to know who we are going to be married to in future right now, we'd all probably go "ewwwwww..." suspense suspense. actually like this more exciting la. but more tiring, having to guess and go through the whole process of rejection, courtship blah blah blah. And of course, having to wait. what does it mean to wait anyway?
And fate of course, is simple a secular term for the will of God, and coincidence for His grace.
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