grandma

As I gave those cold finger tips a squeeze, they didn't even have the strength to squeeze back. Holding her wrinkly hand in mine, it felt so reminiscent of the times when she was healthier. Even though I was old enough to cross the road on my own, these very same fragile hands would always take mine and gently lead me to safety on the other side.

My grandmother has always been something. Surviving the Japanese Occupation at the tender age of 16, she came out nearly unscathed and untainted, even though life was tough and there had been so many close calls. Almost singlehandedly raised and cared for the well being of her 6 children, moving on to participate in the raising and caring of her 11 grandchildren. She stood faithfully by her husband's side to the point of his death and outlived him by 14 years.
She's always been the mediator, the peacemaker of the family. Motherly, tactful and ever so patient. Not to forget a great cook. A whole lot of good humour and compassion to top it off.
She's a woman caught in between the generations. On one hand she retains a lot of her "pantang-ness" and old superstitions, on the other she's a hip lil' ol' lady who is up to date in the happenings of our generation. No other 80 year old grandmother would enjoy watching WWE Raw and TNX Explosion almost every night. Or catch up with the latest gossip in zhao bao. Or watch Meteor Garden and all those Korean serial dramas or profess that the dudes from F4 are
quite dashing. Not many grandmas will enjoy fastfood once in a while like pizza or the kfc coselaw. Not many grandmas can jig to jazz and rock and roll and even allow herself to be kissed on the cheek by total strangers. What a darling.
She's really special huh?
As time slips away, so does the little life remaining...

My only comfort is that someday we will meet again in a place where pain and suffering doesn't exist. I wish you could have known God a little earlier, but at least there's eternity for that.

think of me

I profess for some strange reason i recently got hooked onto American Idol(huh i'm supposed to be mugging!). Loved the version David Archuleta did for Phantom of the Operah's Think of Me.
Remembered watching the musical at Esplanade with WWF last year, I was so enthralled by the whole mysterious-ness, robustness and gentleness of the atmosphere, the dialogue, the singing and the scenes (the unforgettable dungeon scene and the one where the phantom vanished from his throne toward the end) The original itself is realllly such a sweet sweet song! sighs.


Think of me, think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me, once in a while,
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that once again, you long to take your heart back and be free
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me.
We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea
but if you can still remember stop and think of me . . .

Think of all the things, we've shared and seen
don't think about the things which might have been . . .

Think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days look back on all those times, think of the things we'll never do
there will never be a day when I won't think of you . .

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them,
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I am awake, I am still with you.
Psalm 139:17-18

"My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore."

in Your freedom

In times of confusion and doubt, God is always faithful.
In times of feeling the lack of self worth, I need to be reminded that my self worth does not come from within me, but it comes from an external source. It comes from God.
Jesus Christ came to die for my sins so that I am made acceptable in the eyes of God.
If God's standard is the ultimate standard, who am I to moan about not being able to reach the standards of Man?
With such a reminder, there is a certain victory that emerges from the depths of the longing, desolate soul. A sense of revival and reverie. Triumph and rejoice. The enemy will be crushed beneathe His heel and his lies will dwell no more.
For I am the daughter of the king, I am miss universe.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Isaiah 40:26