talk about sophistication

Top question of the day: Did you cut your hair?
Top answer of the day: No, the barber cut it for me.

Top scene of the day: A girl with 5 handbags on one arm each at the nus forum warehouse sale(talk about ks-ness)

Top news of the day: the owner of a certain ubiquitous family diner has a mistress in every outlet he owns. Explains the low morale of the grumpy serving ladies. (sounds rather far fetched but hmm..intriguing. a bit less shocking than the fact the envoy Cheng Ho was a well known Muslim. Yes, that Cheng Ho from your primary school Chinese textbooks)

Top idea of the day: "klutzu dawn"

Top panic: its 2am and i got an 8am lecture. toodles!!!

i love the rain most

rain. love the sound of it pattering on the rooftops. like the feeling of it when im inside, protected and warm from the cold outside. i feel sheltered.
rain. makes me feel brave when i step on the outside. throwing caution to the wind. overturned umbrellas. fallen trees. i feel like a warrior.
rain. soaks my skin and my shoes. fills me to the brim with knowledge from above. hey, it was not just the clouds that burst. rain promotes bursts of growth. i feel that i can stand taller.
rain. it washes away stains. it blurs my vision from previous scars. dilutes my focus from my inadequacies. i feel renewed.
i love the rain most.

In light of the recent South Korean kidnappings, followed by the execution of 2 of them, it made me realise something.
Persecution exists even till today. It pains me to see fellow brothers and sisters in Christ suffering at the hands of the enemy. It has always been war, before and even now. So subtle, yet so true. Persecution, diguised and shrouded in the name of political agendas.
I wonder if I could ever be as brave as them in the same situation, in a foreign land, about to be matyred or will I be consumed by fear. But then, we are already on the victory's side. Its a matter of which path we will choose at the end of the day, the narrow and winding path, or the broad and easy way. Persevering in our faith, we will reach the light at the end of the tunnel one day.
Brothers, your family prays, grieves and rejoices for you.

Click here to petition for their release!
http://www.avaaz.org/en/honour_the_afghan_code/tf.php/?CLICKTRACK

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverence. Perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2,3

Off to the land of a thousand smiles

Somehow, think this holiday seems more hectic than term time. Been running off to team meetings every few days, meeting up with a few friends, etc...
Supposed to be leaving for South Thailand on the 9th...But due to the bombings in Hattyai, everything seems so uncertain now.
http://www.gulf-times.com/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=151882&version=1&template_id=45&parent_id=25
So many changes, so many obstacles.
Don't like this feeling. It feels as if walking on a tight rope. Nothing to cling on to, the ground is 50 feet away. Its easy to get disoriented in this place. Up or down? Down or up? Lose your footing and there isn't even time to panic.
I wish I could be still. Be still and know who is in control of it all. But my heart, my heart. Sometimes I feel that I'm not right.

Your the only one I can ever hold on to.

Be still and know I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

How happy is the blameless vessle's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

-Eloisa to Abelard, Alexander Pope

im alive

I know, this blog seems dead. BUT, I'M ALIVE!!! WAHAHAH...ok whatever...

The reason why I havent been blogging, is cos i'm lazy to pen down my thoughts. Hmm, or more like, I don't seem to have anything in my thoughts now except for the exams. HA, and why am I blogging in the midst of everything?? Update on the exams. Finished 3 papers so far. 2 more to go whoot! And don't laugh at me cos my next 2 papers are on the 3rd and 4th, which are like the LAST days of all NUS exams. BAH. I think i didn't do too well for the first 2. My PS inquiry...although I studied the most for it, I absorbed the least. Dunno why. my brain just conveniently forgot. argh. Spore govt and politics...disasterous. I couldnt finish the paper=(. I couldn't find the clock in the exam hall so I was happily doing the first essay, thinking that i still had a lot of time left till i saw this tiny digital clock at the other end of the hall. 1 more hr to go and at least 8 pages to write. how?? gah. Today was jap lang. The listening comprehension was totally incomprehensible and inaudible cos of the echoes and i was sitting near the back. Plus the woman in the cd spoke so fast and..aiyah in short catch no ball. They shld just scrap the whole part la cos like everyone was complaining about it. The rest of the paper seemed ok. Hopefully. Still got foreign dip and genes and society to go. MCQs. Which means must study more. Neh.

Maybe my brain has totally degenerated since O Levels. I find it so hard to study for exams nowadays. The holidays after O Levels seemed to have lasted forever. If a surgeon were to open up my brain and search through the metal cabinet files in my mind( Its a very PS2102 concept, called conceptionalisation), they'd probably find loads of fluff, and more fluff. And maybe a piece on Donut Factory donuts, which I crave every once in a while although I've never had the opportunity to taste a single one. I mean, hey look at the 3-5 hr queue brother. But whats makes it so tantilising is the irrevocable fact that people actually get up and queue at 7am in the morning just to get the donuts. TELL ME, WHAT IS SO FACINATING ABOUT THE DONUTS!!! I may consider adding "queueing for donuts" on my holiday agenda list(yes, i already have a list. a very long one.) That's how determined I am, though the sane part of my braisn says its an insane thing to do. Well, at least its a little more saner than impulsively, in a complete act of desparation, declaring that i'm gonna marry the next guy who buys me the donuts. Whoosh.

Ok, aside from donuts, and silly you-tube videos and games that I've suddenly stumbled upon(don't you think how funny is it that all the good stuff online reveals their existence when you least want it to, especially near exam time?) , there's the phantom from the phantom of the opera. Haha...Went to watch it on the 11th of April with the WWF gang minus Janice and Jamie. WHoooo...It was really good! Although I still can't figure out how the phantom disappeared from the chair at the end..Man, the phantom exudes this very hypnotic charm and confidence that makes you want him as a muse too, regardless of badly scarred face and pervertic nature and all. Mystery men eh hehe. Just look at how many girls have him on their msn display pics.

Ah, and in a drawer in itself you'll probably find... drumroll....KimRaeWon!! HOHOHO. There is NO korean guy on earth hotter than KRW..Forget Bae Yong Jun( that was my mum's fav, thought I think she doen't like him anymore), Song Seung Heon. Trust me. Sigh. I feel like a teenager all over again. There I go oldifying myself again. In case your wondering, he's the seal trainer in My Love Patzzi, the guy in Love Story at Harvard and the guy in What star are you from?.

Gorgeous uh? Anyway, I realised im quite a K-drama junkie. I think i've watched like so many k-dramas, i can't even remember the names of those i've watched. Man, they're addictive. And very good conversation fillers haha. Currently, I'm watching Foxy Lady and Smile again on channel 55 weekends. So don't bother trying to call me on weekend nights 10.30-12.30. Haha...It's also a bonding session for me my mum and yes, my 82 yr old grandmother. Hmm, been also watching a little of 18vs29 on crunchy roll, this fabulous site u can watch whole korean dramas on. bliss. haha. been re-watching I love Patzzi on youtube sometimes. man i sound like such a slacker. I got study k, these k-dramas are meant for break times and de-stressing.

Some pics from what star are you from. They make a very good couple uh? Shld intro the girl to Ah teck, whom other than mushrooms seems to have a hidden fetish about koren girls like the one from My Sassy Girl whaha.

I think I've been having fetishes lately. Like sunflower fetishes and starfishes. Squeals!

Oh man look at the SEA of sunflowers!!!

Don't they just make your day=)

End with a verse that's been carrying me through the exams.

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is Rock eternal. Isaiah40:29-31

The Stand

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory



Not much time to blog these days. But just wanna share my love to all you people out there who feel that the world has turned upside down, that there is no hope, that life just plain sucks cos of projects, assignments and tests that you don't even know why you exist anymore.

I've felt that way too, but I've found peace. Because He loves me. Because He is there. Because He walks with me.

God is Love.

Are you seeking love today?

heart is heavy

One week, four midterm papers. One day, three midterm papers. Have you ever heard of such a phenomenon? Have you ever seen such audacity? Have you known anyone to be so suay?
Nearly died studying for them. Just finished my last paper today: Genes and society
Rather tricky mcq questions. All the questions were so similar and all squeezed into the pages, they looked so wordy and gave me a headache. And the option E. "None of the above is correct." "All of the above are correct." DOn't you just hate questions like that? And almost all the questions had that option.
Sigh but thank God its over.
And now i gotta turn my worries to the ps review due on tuesday. An essay on fri. Week after next, 2 class presentations. I know i dont have the right to complain because many students are suffering from the workload as well. Yup, kempate Dawn! And all you fellow muggers out there..
I don't feel good. I don't know why, maybe cos of things bogging me down lately. Some are small, some are affective. Not just school work..Just struggling with some issues. Kinda tired. Wish we had an extra term break instead of wasting our chinese new year one. Like why cant they give us a break(literally) and not put exams behind the recess week.
Sometimes you really wish that you could just erase the pain. But we tend to block them out, stow them in an abandoned nook of our minds. Its just like a hideous piece of unwanted cheese. You stuff it into the furthest corner of your closet, hoping that u can just forget about it. But the feeling of it still lingers and you pile stuff over it, not wanting to see it by chance even. And then comes the smell...At the back of the mind, you know its there and you are reminded so every single day. The stench accumulates into one which suffocates, which torments...That's when you go crazy. You dig into the closet hoping to do something about it and..you find that its stuck permenantly to the bottom of the closet.

do you see me? do you even know i'm there...
hate me, love me, but spare me your indifference.

as i walked in the storm that day, i couldn't tell if it was tears or rain.

If I kissed you

If i kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If i kissed you

If i kissed you
What would michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalised in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If i kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But i guess i'll never know if i never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you

If i kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If i kissed you
oh, If i kissed you
yeah, if i kissed you


Happy Valentine's everyone!

20

I wanted to spend this birthday quietly. Afterall, the big two-oh seems like an interphase between teenagehood and adulthood. Like some weird purgatory state where you are just waiting for the moment to be held accountable to yourself, where you are able to vote in the elections, where you never have to get your parents to sign any indemity form ever again...
Maybe I'm feeling too old. Maybe I hoped people would forget that I'm already 20. Silly uh?
I thought I would spend this birthday quietly. Maybe cos i didnt think anyone would remember anyway. It always has been like that, especially when the hype of cny is at its peak.
Funny thing is when you least expected it, loads of greetings and well wishes will start infiltrating your mailbox. There are even a couple of long distant calls. Surprise surprise. Even a few cakes. I had no idea there were so many people who cared. Thank you guys for making this birthday special even though I wasn't really...expectant?Ok thats sound kinda wrong=p


Thanks be to God for the many wonderful things that have happened over the past few weeks.
Once again, You have shown that all things are possible with You in our lives, even if it was impossible for us to accomplish with our own strength. Somehow, You seem to be reminding me so constantly of Your presence and i'm awestruck by Your power every single day.
Thank You for saving her world. The incident seemed so insignificant to me, yet it has convicted her and directly reassured her that You love her so much that You would do whatever it takes to draw her back to You.
Thank You for the peace that You have restored in my heart. For the unexpected friendship that has been such a great blessing to me. For chasing away the fogginess and just enabling me to watch the world around me in a different perspective. For teaching me so so so much.


I used to silently protest at the amount of burdens that have been put upon my shoulder. I used to be so uncomfortable with the stretchmarks, the sudden need to grow up in such a small space of time. I didn't want to leave my comfort zone. It used to be all about me.
Not anymore. I've learnt that these stretchmarks are a blessing. And they are all for an incredible purpose, His glory. Stretchmarks, they can be seen as scars. On the other hand, they can be seen as valuable lessons, which have shaped us and moulded us to what we have become or will be in the future. Majestic contours of the flesh. Creation.

And there is still so much room to grow. Amen to that.

Hilarious

Nuaing in hall..Nothing beats Youtube and Mr Brown podcasts hahaha...

Hilarious video shown in my PS lecture

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Singapore Flunks Courtesy

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And lastly, to tie in with Chinese New Year...

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Sometimes, we all just need a laugh=)

Jam Aloud

IT'S HERE.

This year, only the HOTTEST
the COOLEST
the BEST
will compete against each other
in a phatasmagoric arena.

get ready for

JAM ALOUD 2007

Organised by NUS Arts and Social Sciences club and Media and Entertainment club, Jam Aloud seeks to promote and develop the local music scene through a friendly band competition. For those of you who have watched SuperBand on Channel U, this is something like that la.

It serves as a platform for aspiring musicians from all walks of life to showcase their musical talent, it also aims to cultivate interest in the performing arts amongst people both in and out of campus.

So whether you're an aspiring rock band, or a group of seasoned jazz musicians - whether you're 16 or 60, just come on down and join in a fun, free-for-all celebration of great live music in a variety of sounds, and have a smashing start to a great year with us!!!

So dear people, those of you who have friends who are in a band of at least 3 people or who may be interested in competing, pls ask them to sign up asap!

The closing date for registration is this week!
Pls visit the website at http://www.jamaloud.nusartsclub.org
Download the registration form and email to the address stated. If not, can ask them come contact me straight.
Cheers!

Hello peeps! I know its my blog but heh its time to do a little bit of publicity here(see la, so committed in doing the job man)...
I'm in the pub com for this event and hopefully u guys can help by ask around too. =)

out of the ordinary

I'm in my hall room now, flopping around(as angeline likes to put it). Just ate cup noodles, cos i skipped lunch. I think i must be crazy to have put 2 tutorials and 1 lecture in a row man, so that its like Japanese lang 9-10, PS tutorial 10-12, genes lecture 12-2. hiongz. See, my stupidity astounds me. Whoever would cram all tutorials into one whole week? So i'm left such that i have a very heavy odd week where i have classes from 10-6 on tues, wed and thurs and a very slack even week. Seriously "imba" (learnt this new colloquialism from the younger kids on my turkey trip. aparently its a dota term. full word: imbalanced. every generation has its words. oh well.) But thank God today the ps tutorial ended an hour earlier cos it was the first lesson, as there was only admin stuff. Went to the forum to look for kakis to spend the hour with. The funny thing was, i didnt see any friends around but there was this very familiar looking girl sitting on the steps. I stared at her and she stared at me. And for some strange reason i went to sit down with her. Kinda...out of the ordinary. Then we started talking. She also found me very familiar but couldnt place how we knew each other. Then we started tracing back, trying to compare modules and trying to see if we had any mutual friends. Hmm..it took around 10 minutes to figure out that we had met in orientation for this game preparation thingy. And we had spoken only a few times. wowwee hahahaha. Then i accompanied her for lunch though i didnt eat much cos i had tapao-ed some breakfast from my hall. Somehow, it struck me as rather strange how 2 strangers who barely knew each other could sit down for lunch and have a good chat. And usually i'm not that friendly heh. Hmm. Maybe i'll find out the reason for this unusual gathering soon.

hall phantom

she's there. but you can't see her. she smiles. but you can't see it. she frowns. but you don't wonder. she screams. but you don't hear her. it's bright. but her shadow isn't there. she's the hall phantom.

Ahhhh...I dunno. Firstly, i realised that in order to get my desired cap(which i shall not proclaim here), i must work hard this sem. Like duh. But I'm taking Jap lang, which is like 2 modules in itself. 50 pages of hiragana and katagana to memorise. help. And that ps module. screw it. The lecturer is the laziest bummer in the universe...Imagine: a german dude who is so lazy he doesn't even bother to use a mike so you cant hear half of what he's saying. he doesnt use powerpoint during lecture. he asks the students not to email him, but ask him questions directly in lecture(what has he, computer phobia???). he doesnt even bother to prepare the lesson. he goes about in circles for half an hour trying to drag on the lesson although all the while he's only talking about one single thing. he interjects his speech with 5 sec pauses and um um um at least 62 times throughout the whole lecture, cos he doesnt seem to know his work properly. and he cant seem to stop refering to his private notes. or coughing. or comenting on mundane things. or exclaiming whenever a student sneezes. he doesn't give out lecture notes, he doesn't do anything. he doesn't provide a coursepack. he doesn't even have a workbin on ivle. like...HUH??? pseudo lecturer...dunno from where one. sigh.
and that publicity thing is driving me crazy. i want to be efficient and stuff, but sorry im not born with amazing IT skills and blessed with contacts. wonder why i agreed to take this project in the first place.
wow. so much for amazing uni life. feeling a little pessimistic. burnt. looking forward to those hiphop classes though haha. maybe can burn some fats. yup..that's all for now... can't wait for saturday=)

Tell me, is it your will? Send me.
whom shall i fear. Psalm 27:1

so you had a bad day

Gloom, like rain, shrouded the campus today. At least to me. It didn't help when i woke up and realised i had missed breakfast. Nor did it help when i tripped on the steps and broke my toenail. Nor the fact that the rain probably washed a gazillion microscopic germs and e colli into my open toe wound(i was wearing frictionless slippers so you can imagine me sloshing and water skiing around campus). And i had three really brain eating lectures. By the time i sat down to the 3rd lec foreign policy and diplomacy i was already pronounced brain dead. And that german lecturer is totally incompetent. His voice, screams "lullaby". Sian.
Havent been blogging much these days. I know i dont have any excuses except plain laziness la, now that im stranded in hall and there's no tv to distract me. Alright i'll try to blog a little more frequently folks. A little.

About hall life, the ups are having your own cosy little space where u can do whatever you want. Well at home its kinda similar except you don't have The Mum coming in every half an hour to nag. Or find her missing hand lotion. And you get to hang out with friends after midnight.

The downs: You tend to get fatter. Really fatter. Uh-oh. Probably its due to the tempting idea of having midnight supper with friends, to chit chat, etc. And the hall supper contains really sinful things like milo with a lot of whipped cream on top and cheese egg omelette with a huge gunk of tasty mayo on top. Totally beats Fong Seng hands down(in case you dunno, fong seng is this coffeeshop behind Eusoff Hall, a fav hangout place for midnight supperers. The food is mediocre and i suspect, rather unhygenic.) But the fonder thing about Fong Seng is the environment. The noisy coffee shop with the grease, the sweat and roadside pollution. Whereas the hall dining room is too clean. Different ambience la. And maybe cos you just had supper and are too lazy to move, you end up sitting there talking crap till 3am. Ok, so far i've only had one such experience. Haha...we sat there till the point kenneth and cavey started giving me ideas on what to name my future son. What Ruoal and Cristiano...Don't think i dunno those are soccer player names lor!-__-
Speaking of the supper, it was where i heard the most complimenting thing this week. Peirong said that she thinks i'm gonna get married off early. HAHAHAH...I just cannot imagine that happening. Don't think its cos i got some self deprecating low esteem. Just cannot imagine. With the help of the guys suaning me. I asked pr why and she said its cos i got this family oriented thing going on. Well, it could be an indirect way of saying im very motherly, which means im very aunty. Sheesh...As if my sec3s kias have not told me enough of that. Anyway i digress.

Havent really got down to any serious studying yet. Afterall, its just the first week mah. I really hope i can study here. And i only know the names of 5 pple in hall till date. Thats the bad thing about moving in mid sem. Can be a lil' lonely. Oh well. But i believe things will get better eventually.

And you'll start missing The Mum. Sometimes its great to just have her presence around. And those nutritous tong sui. And watching lame korean shows on tv together. =)

I also realised that this is a great opportunity to share the gospel. What better time to do so when its in the deep of the night and people start wondering about the secrets of the universe? Ok thats quite a stretch but i still think its a good way anyhow.

Lord, give me wisdom give me strength, to persevere on being your faithful servant.